This morning I did what everybody does, scrolled. Twitter, Facebook, Threads, Instagram. Doesn’t matter which platform, it was all the same message dressed in different clothes: marriage is dead. Marriage is a zero-sum game. Marriage is a trap. Don’t get married. Stay apart. Save yourself the pain.
And I get it. People are tired of being hurt. Tired of betrayal. Tired of giving themselves away only to feel used or left behind. Men calling women narcissists. Women calling men narcissists. The finger-pointing never ends.
But here’s the thing: I don’t believe marriage is the enemy. Saying marriage doesn’t work is like saying yin exists without yang. One without the other. Balance cut in half. To me, that’s not how God created it. Genesis 2:24 says it plain: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” That’s not brokenness, it’s design.
Now, let me be real about my own journey. I’ve been married three times. Divorced three times. My first? College sweetheart, too young, too unsteady. My second? That one’s on me I messed it up. The third? Narcissism at its worst. I walked away with custody of my kids and my house, but lost my savings. Every one of those chapters hurt. Every one left a mark.
But every one also taught me. The positive moments? I try to repeat them. The negative moments? I try not to let them happen again. That’s growth. That’s life. And when I look at couples who make it fifty years, I don’t see perfection. I see two people who chose every day to grow, to forgive, to start again. That’s marriage at its truest.
Scripture tells us, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). That’s sacrifice. That’s not convenience. And “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22-23). That means even after failure, after mistakes, after heartbreak, there’s room for renewal.
So no, I don’t buy what social media is selling. Marriage isn’t a zero-sum game. It’s not outdated. It’s covenant. It’s two people fighting to make one life together. Hard? Yes. Messy? Absolutely. Worth it? I still believe so.
Because marriage isn’t about never falling, it’s about who’s there to help you back up. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). That’s the truth.